Fire and Ice
by Jbsullivan17
Summary: "So am I. What are we doing here then if your owner doesn't want you to be here?" Clarke grimaced at him, "Owner?" "You're his pet, right? Owners can have more than one pet." Or, Clarke marries Finn and agrees to an open marriage, only to realize she's been in love with Bellamy and doesn't know how to deal with it all.
1. Tell Me that We're Not Alike

"How's married life?"

The words drew Clarke out of her notes and up at the man she's been avoiding like the plague. "G—good."

"Still in the honeymoon phase?"

Clarke looked around the café to see if there was a reason Bellamy walked in aside from goading her into another inane argument. They hadn't talked in a year, since the night she got engaged and she couldn't blame him for avoiding her, or Finn for that matter.

"We don't have to do this, Bellamy," she said softly, mostly because she didn't want to, but also because she knew it'd hurt him more if they did.

"It was over a year ago, Princess, I'm over you."

"Good."

"Yeah, good," he said with indignation, his jaw ticking. "Just like married life apparently."

"Why are you asking about it?"

"I've been thinking about it, getting married that is."

Clarke furrowed her brows together, he's been dating? "Wait, to who?"

"Gina, my date to your wedding."

"You were at my wedding?"

"I guess that means Finn invited me. I was wondering after what I said."

"I didn't know."

"I didn't know what to get you so I gave you money, generic. I guess that meant he wrote the thank you card too."

"No, my mom, or rather her assistant. Finn and I were in Greece for two weeks," she lowered her head, knowing the betrayal that was Greece. They'd talked about going, one of the few times they actually talked. A surprise from Finn.

Bellamy scoffed, obviously remembering, "You really don't see what he's doing, do you? We were friends, Clarke, and now you can barely look at me."

"Maybe if you didn't ruin my engagement day, I wouldn't..."

"You wouldn't be avoiding me? Did you tell him what I said?"

"It doesn't matter, I already knew."

"And you're still with him? Clarke, you could be so much happier!"

"Why do you care? We're not friends, we were never friends, Bellamy. Just go back to your girlfriend and stop worrying about my marriage!"

His nose flared and Clarke knew he was holding back, not wanting to say something he'd regret. Did he regret what he said to her last year? Did he mean it? Was he just trying to get what he couldn't have?

* * *

 _ **Four Years Ago:**_

 _The door swung open, slamming into the wall and the tornado that was Octavia Blake stormed into the room, demanding the attention of her predisposed roommate. "Clarke, you just finished your midterm and there's a game today against Poly and—"_

 _Clarke sighed, putting her book down, "For the hundredth time, Octavia, I don't care about rugby."_

 _Octavia plopped down on Clarke's bed right next to her, straight onyx hair cascading down her back. "You really should, the team is fine this year."_

 _"Your brother is on the team."_

 _"Okay, my bisexual bestie, I'm hot, right?"_

 _Clarke rolled her eyes, seeing where it was going before it even started. "Even if I were straight, I'd say yes. He could be the Rusty to your Casey."_

 _"We have amazing genes and did you seriously just reference Greek?"_

 _"Weird and yes," she smirked._

 _"Woman after my own heart. Anyway, including and aside from my brother, our rugby team is fucking hot."_

 _"Is Oski going to be there?"_

 _"Probably," O said, getting off the bed and yanked off her shirt to change, staring at her options in their shared closet._

 _"Fine, but be aware that I have no idea what I'd be watching."_

 _"I will explain everything."_

 _Clarke rolled her eyes, "Sweater?"_

 _"Will get colder, especially going to the victory party."_

 _"Victory party?"_

 _Octavia smiled, "They're really good!"_

 _An hour later Clarke stood in the stands next to Octavia cheering on the team that just scored. For the past thirty minutes Clarke heard words like maul and ruck and try and she had no idea what any of it meant aside from the fact that it's almost the same as football but somehow rougher and she liked it, though knew nothing about it._

 _"Who's that?" Clarke noticing one of the guys on their team._

 _"Hair? Collins, he's—he's Collins. I really don't know anything about him, Bell definitely has an opinion so we're not going to ask him because he's a grumpy asshole that hates everyone but me and I'm not looking at any of the guys on our team. Mm," Octavia bit her lip. "Tattoos," she smiled._

 _Clarke laughed, of course Octavia would pick the one person Bellamy would hate more than he did Atom who transferred across the country after a single semester._

 _It's been nine months and Clarke has managed to avoid the overbearing big bother of her dorm mate and she intended on making it through a whole year, but she's at his game and she immediately recognized him, even from a distance, even only seeing the picture of him on Octavia's desk as he's trying to hide from the camera._

 _And yes, she's looking at Finn because she already knows too much about Bellamy to find him attractive under the skin, so pretty boy Finn will work for now, at a distance._

 _A distance._

 _Of course with thinking that, she jinxed herself and at the victory party she ran into him and he's smooth and he brought her around introducing her to people and aside from Octavia, he was the first person Clarke felt herself with since her father died._

 _"Blake!" he called suddenly and Clarke froze. She knew Octavia went to find the Poly guy, there was some camaraderie between the two teams that Clarke thought was weird, but she also knew nothing about rugby so who was she to judge?_

 _"Collins, what happened out there?" a gruff voice asked, not fond at all, and Clarke recognized key features of the man's face from the picture on her roommate's desk, the freckles, scar on his upper lip, and his hands, how did she notice his hands already?_

 _"It was a fumble. You really think I'd purposely initiate a ruck?"_

 _"It's you, intentional or not, it's usually your fault."_

 _"Right. This is Clarke, O's roommate."_

 _"You've been ducking me for months, Princess," Bellamy smirked and Clarke grimaced. She knew he wasn't an easy person to get along with but the first thing he does is insult her._

 _"Right, because people flock to meet you after hearing all the shit you put your sister through."_

 _She fought with him the rest of the night, Finn walking her home and asking her out, impressed on how she held up against Bellamy._

* * *

"Hey, babe," Finn said walking into the apartment hours later, kissing Clarke's temple and trying not to distract her from studying.

"Hey," she closed the textbook. "You invited Bellamy to our wedding?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You saw the guest list."

"No, I didn't. My mom handled my half and I really didn't think Bellamy would have been on your half."

"We were on the same team, princess. I thought you were friends anyway."

"He told me not to marry you."

"Yeah, Raven mentioned something like that."

Clarke grimaced, "Raven?"

"We were friends long before we were romantic, you know that."

"That doesn't mean I'm okay with you talking to her."

"I thought you trusted me."

"I do."

"You clearly don't. I married you, I picked you!" Finn yelled and Clarke cringed. "This isn't about me, it's Bellamy. You want to screw him."

"No, that's—you want to screw Raven."

"No."

"Then what the hell is this, Finn? Accusing me, you know what they say when your partner accuses you of cheating, right? That they're the ones cheating."

"How would you feel about an open marriage?"

"Open marriage?"

"Yes. Sex with other people but emotions with each other."

"That's what you want? We haven't even been married three months and you want to fuck other people!"

"It's for your benefit, if we sleep with other people, we can bring new ideas into the bedroom."

"So I'm not good enough."

"No, Clarke, you are, but don't you want more than what we have?"

Clarke grimaced, they did hit a dry spell, he hasn't been getting her there like he used to, not for a while, so…

"Okay."

Finn raised an eyebrow, "Okay?"

"Yeah, just we don't talk about them or say who they are and they have to know it's not serious that we are together and it's just sex. They also have to be clean and we're both home every night and it never happens here."

"Sounds reasonable."

Clarke nodded, reasonable. Nothing about this was reasonable or a good idea, frankly, she hated it, but what was she going to do? She knew Finn, knew he'd eventually do it behind her back so why can't she do it too?

That Friday, Clarke went out with Octavia, they do it once a month since graduation, keeping their friendship afloat.

"Why are you so quiet tonight?" O asked, she's been talking about her own wedding plans since they sat at the bar and all Clarke did was nod and offer some advice, whatever she could because her wedding was her mother's idea of what Clarke's wedding should be and nothing like what she actually wanted.

But Clarke's mind also drifted to her conversation with her husband Tuesday night. She hasn't told anyone—should she tell anyone?—and then she wondered if she should try hooking up with someone because the likeliness of Finn being with Raven while she spoke to Octavia.

"What?"

"What's weighing on your mind?"

Clarke debated coming clean and telling O, but she didn't know how to start it. She didn't know what to say.

"Do you like Finn?"

"Um…"

"As a person, as my husband, do you think I made a mistake?"

"Clarke, it's not my place to—"

"I know, but we had a fight and he accused me of cheating and I turned the tables on him with that saying about the accuser being the offender and he turned it into asking for an open marriage and I've just been picturing him with her since."

"And how do you feel about it?"

"I don't know? I just gave him the green light to go screw whoever he wants and I don't want to screw anyone."

"I doubt that."

"I married him, I thought I'd be with him forever. That's why people get married."

"I thought it was because it'd be financially better for you in med school."

"Yeah, but I didn't think he'd want to be with anyone else."

"Do you not want to be with him anymore with this? You can get an annulment, you can—"

"I don't know, O. My life has flipped on it's head within a year, do you really think another change would do me any good?"

"It'd be fixing a mistake. You can move in with me, Lincoln's roommate is moving out when their lease is up and he was going to move into mine because my lease is longer. But his is bigger so you could take over mine and I'll move in with him at his and renew."

"I don't know, O. I haven't thought about it, really. I'm just confused about it all."

"Confused about what?" she heard behind her and Clarke whipped her head around to find Bellamy standing behind her with a gorgeous brunette on his arm.

"What are you doing here?"

"We always come here on Friday nights," he said and Clarke wondered how long "always" was. "Clarke Griffin, or is it Collins now?"

"Griffin."

"Clarke, Gina Martin. Gina, this is Clarke."

"The wedding," Gina smiled and shook Clarke's hand. "It was a beautiful ceremony."

Bellamy scoffed, getting an elbow from both Gina and Octavia. "You didn't take his name."

"It's 2017, Bellamy, women don't have to take their hus—husband's name."

"Yeah," he smirked, draping his arm around Gina's shoulders. "Gina Blake has a good ring to it."

Clarke looked down at Gina's left hand, finding a ring on her finger. "Congratulations."

"You give some good advice, Princess."

Clarke glared at Bellamy. Advice, she hadn't talked to him in a year and when she did, she definitely didn't give him any advice.

"Wouldn't want to dampen your evening with boring married life. It was nice meeting you, Gina. Sorry we didn't meet at my wedding."

"Well, Bellamy said he's Finn's friend and you two hated each other so—"

"Did he? I explicitly remember telling him he was one of my best friends, weird," Clarke grimaced, placing forty dollars on the bar and walked out, hoping Octavia followed her.

"What the hell was that, Clarke?"

"I saw Bellamy three days ago and he proposed to her. He said he was thinking about it."

"Wait, you guys talked, like really talked?"

"No, he was being condescending and I wasn't having it. Just like now, I don't know who he thinks he is but—"

"He's in love with you, Clarke."

"He's engaged."

"He loves Gina, I can't say he doesn't but he's in love with you, there's a difference."

"I'm married."

"I know, and he told you how he felt when Finn proposed and you ripped his heart out."

"He didn't tell me anything. He told me not to marry Finn, he told me about his affair with Raven which I already knew about. If he was in love with me then why the hell didn't he just tell me so?"

"Because he can't have a broken heart if he doesn't put it out there."

"And my wedding, he could have objected but because he's afraid of getting hurt he didn't?"

"There were a lot of factors at your wedding. Gina, Finn's threat, you didn't even know he was there."

"If he wanted to protect me he should have made a scene, embarrassed Finn in front of his whole family."

"He's not selfish, Clarke. He just wants you to be happy."

Clarke swallowed the bile rising in her throat. She didn't know, but everyone else did, Finn did and used it, used Clarke and Greece and it made her sick to think about... or she could be drunk.

* * *

Days passed and Clarke was at the grocery store when she ran into Raven and Gina talking like there was no tomorrow.

"I swear, it was the dirtiest thing but God, he knows what he's doing," Raven cooed before noticing Clarke at the end of the aisle looking at the paper towels on sale. "Hey, Clarke."

"Raven, Gina."

The look on their faces was priceless, or Clarke would have thought so if she wasn't married to the man Raven was gushing over.

Clarke knew in that moment that Raven didn't know about the open marriage she'd agreed to nearly a week ago so after putting the paper towels in her cart Clarke walked down the aisle towards them and she walked past, barely a yard before stopping and stepping into Raven's space. "I know," she said simply, no fervor just a simple statement before continuing her grocery shopping.

* * *

"What the hell, Clarke?" she heard stirring her grandmother's spaghetti sauce. "You threatened Raven!"

"What did I say about talking about our extracurricular activities in the house?" she countered, turning towards him, grabbing the garlic and turned back to the stove. "Are you hungry?"

"I'm not talking about fucking her, I'm talking about you threatening her!"

"But I didn't. I was grocery shopping and she was gushing to Gina about how hard and rough you are with her and how ohh-mazing it is and I just happened to hear it. Now, she didn't say your name but it was obvious the moment she recognized me and all I said was 'I know' and I'm pretty sure that isn't a threat. Don't you agree?"

"Clarke, you shouldn't have said anything."

"Right," she scoffed. "I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't have forgiven you. Hell, I shouldn't have fucking married you."

"That's how you feel?" the look on his face somehow looked betrayed and slightly broken.

"Right now when my husband is accusing me of threatening his mistress, yes."

"Have you had an affair yet?"

"I just wrapped my head around your infidelity. No, I haven't and honestly, this ring is a problem."

"So don't wear it."

A blow to the gut, that's what those words felt like to Clarke. Don't wear your wedding ring, he doesn't care.

"The moment I take this ring off is the moment our marriage is over. So tell me, Finn, why did you ask me to marry you? Why did you go through with it if you're going to keep fucking around?"

"I love you."

"Do you? Jesus, Finn, if you loved me, you wouldn't have asked for an open marriage so you can go fuck your high school girlfriend."

* * *

 _ **Two Years Ago:**_

 _"How can you stand him?" Finn asked glaring at Bellamy from across the room._

 _"Me? You played rugby with him for years, how did you stand him?"_

 _"We were teammates, we didn't have to like each other."_

 _"But you still withstood his presence during every practice and game."_

 _"Does he stay over?"_

 _"What?"_

 _"When he walks you and O home, does he stay over?"_

 _"On the couch sometimes, when he's too drunk to walk home after the bar, yeah. Why does it matter?"_

 _"I don't trust him with you."_

 _"Excuse me?"_

 _"What?"_

 _"Do you trust me?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"Then stop worrying about him, I don't like him like that. You see us when we're together, we're at each other's throats. We don't like each other."_

 _"You know what that's called, right? Sexual tension. He checks you out all the time too."_

 _"But you trust me. You trust that I won't let anything happen?"_

 _"Of course, just don't be alone with him."_

 _Clarke rolled her eyes and walked away, she couldn't deal with Finn's insecurities anymore. She walked into the kitchen to get another drink and found Bellamy at the keg._

 _"Thirsty, Princess?"_

 _"I need to talk to you."_

 _"Shoot."_

 _"Outside."_

 _"We're being serious now? Can I bring my beer?"_

 _"Yeah, fill me up first."_

 _Bellamy smirked, taking her cup from her and filled it before following her out the back door onto the patio._

 _"Having fun?"_

 _"Bellamy," she sighed, shaking her head._

 _"What?" he smiled, nudging her with his shoulder. He's tipsy, he has to be._

 _"Doesn't matter, you're not sober."_

 _"Sober enough. What's going on?"_

 _"Finn thinks you flirt with me."_

 _"Finn thinks a lot of things, who cares?"_

 _"Finn doesn't trust us together."_

 _"So the first thing you do after finding that out is corner me in the backyard?"_

 _"I'm serious, Bellamy."_

 _"So am I. What are we doing here then if your owner doesn't want you to be here?"_

 _Clarke grimaced at him, "Owner?"_

 _"You're his pet, right? Owners can have more than one pet."_

 _"Fuck you, Bellamy," she yelled and pulled away heading back inside but his hand on her wrist stopped it._

 _"I'm an ass, we know that, but I really don't like how he treats you, okay?"_

 _"Is that what it is, Bell? Because if it's more, I'd need to know to navigate the situation better."_

 _Bellamy squared his shoulders and looked Clarke directly in the eyes, "If I wanted you, Princess, I'd already have you."_

 _Clarke opened her mouth to say something but what was there to say to that? Bellamy walked back into the house without a word._


	2. But We Work So Well

Clarke walked into the hospital and changed into her scrubs. Cutting someone open was exactly what she needed, though not what's going to happened and she knew it. Hated it, but knew it.

"Griffin," Dr Jackson called from the door, grabbing her attention. "This is Lexa Woods, transfer. Show her around."

"Rounds?"

"You think I don't know you come in an hour early and read everything? I know all Griffin," he smiled before leaving all the interns to their own devices.

"Griffin, like Dr Abigail Griffin who runs the intern program?"

"My mom, but she isn't the one in the program and I have to work twice as hard for everyone's respect in seeing that I'm here on my own merit, not because she pulled some strings, I got in at Johns Hopkins and six more of the top ten med schools in the country. I'm that good, this program is what fit me best. If it were up to Abby Griffin, I'd be at Johns Hopkins, not here."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty three."

"And you're a third year med student?"

"I went to college while in high school junior and senior years, getting my prerequisites out of the way and once I was graduated and transferred schools, I had thirty credits to get and I took as many classes as I could each semester. It wasn't that hard to get done in four semesters and now I'm a third year med student."

"So not only are you the youngest, you're the most qualified."

"You said it, not me."

"Cocky."

Clarke smirked and the rest of the day she and Lexa joked while doing grunt work after the initial tour of the hospital.

* * *

 _ **Bridgegate 2014**_

 _Clarke sat in Finn's lap watching their friends around the fire pit as they sat under the bridge. Octavia and Lincoln were curled together as well and Monty and Harper too. Murphy, Monroe, Jasper and the recently single Miller were scattered around and Bellamy was saying goodbye to Echo who had an early shift at work in the morning._

 _Once he sat back down, Octavia shot up and demanded they play a childish game to celebrate Clarke starting med school._

 _"Truth or Dare?" Harper offered._

 _"We're not twelve, something from high school," Octavia grimaced._

 _"I played Truth or Dare in high school."_

 _"I bet you did. I'm thinking Never Have I Ever or Spin the Bottle."_

 _"We're running low on alcohol," Monty warned._

 _"So Spin the Bottle because we don't have cards to play Kings."_

 _Clarke grimaced, "I thought this was in celebration of me and half of us are in relationships, how is that exactly fair?"_

 _"Fine, you pick the game."_

 _"There's nothing left to play but the couples should get a bigger say that the single ladies."_

 _"Offended," Miller grumbled._

 _"Babe?" Octavia asked Lincoln._

 _"Whatever, I know who I'm going home with," he smirked, nudging her arm._

 _"Finn?"_

 _"What else is there?"_

 _"Python?"_

 _Harper chuckled before schooling her face, looking at Monty sheepishly. "Well, after that display I'm fine with it."_

 _"I'm just agreeing that you're well endowed," Harper shot back at him. "I'm cool with it too."_

 _"Then let's grab an empty and SPIN!" Octavia exclaimed excitedly._

 _Everyone rolled their eyes, probably wondering why she was so excited about a kissing game, at least that's what Clarke was wondering._

 _Per Octavia's rules, Clarke had to go first, the game was in celebration of her med school acceptance that kept her in Berkeley so she was happy about it. So spinning the bottle and watching it go around and around, only to stop on Lincoln and they leaned around Octavia who pushed them apart after less than a second they she joyously declared it her turn, landing on Harper and they shared a small peck before Lincoln's spin landed on Bellamy who called Octavia as his proxy, Clarke smirked, knowing how his sister's boyfriend kissed probably wasn't too high on Bellamy's To Do list… if he had a To Do list, she wouldn't know._

 _"Baby," O smiled at her brother before fully making out with Lincoln in front of everyone._

 _For the next few rounds it was all friendly kissing, Clarke had kissed Harper and Finn on her turns and Monty landed on her once and they were all sweet and with absolutely no fire behind any of them. Then Bellamy spun the bottle on his third turn and Clarke swallowed as it slowed past Murphy then Finn, landing on her._

 _"Princess," he smirked and Clarke refused to look at him or Finn, knowing how they both used that horrid nickname for her, practically using it against each other._

 _"Proxy," Finn huffed._

 _"You afraid I'm going to steal your girl with a kiss, Spacewalker?_

 _"Whatever man, I was letting my girlfriend know that she doesn't have to if she doesn't want to."_

 _"You want to, Princess?"_

 _Clarke's eyes shot up to Bellamy's and saw the flames of the fire dancing in his dark pupils. She snapped over to Finn, "You're not my keeper."_

 _"No, just your boyfriend."_

 _"Do you have a problem?"_

 _"I don't want you kissing other guys."_

 _"Other guys? You were okay with Murphy and Monty, what's different about Bellamy?"_

 _"He's into you."_

 _"Jesus, dude, paranoid much? You have a dirty little secret to share that makes your distrust in your girlfriend make a lick of sense?" Bellamy countered, waiting for Finn's response. "Right, that's what I thought," he spat before looking at Clarke, his features softening. "You in?"_

 _"I'm in," she said leaning across Finn and Harper while Bellamy did the same with Murphy and Monty. Bellamy's hand reached up and cupped her jaw before he pressed his lips to hers and Clarke, relatively drunk, leaned into him and kissed him back. She swore his lips were etching a promise into hers as his tongue delve between her parted lips from a groan she unintentionally let slip and he tasted like mint and beer, like he popped a breath mint right before the game started and had a sip of beer to be less conspicuous and Clarke couldn't get enough. When he pulled away she whimpered before her eyes opened and she realized she was clutching onto his shirt, holding him to her._

 _She grimaced, letting him go and pulled back to sit down next to Finn who's glare towards Bellamy was mean enough that if looks could kill, Bellamy would be tortured to death._

 _"Collins, if your girl doesn't want me after that, she never will._

 _Those words sat in the back of Clarke's mind for eight months, she constantly thought about the kiss but always remembered how incompatible they'd be together. How they fought like there was no tomorrow and nothing would change that and it wasn't a healthy environment._

* * *

Clarke was with Lexa for a month before they parted ways. Lexa wanted more than Clarke could give and they argued about it all the time. A few weeks later she hooked up with another girl, Niylah, and they decided that they're better off friends. She knew that Finn was with Raven and she wasn't okay with it but when she was with Lexa she felt her infidelity cancelled out his in some way, but then there was Niylah who knew the whole story and thought that Finn wasn't being fair to her, that he wanted the best of both worlds and the moment he found out she was with someone else he was going to flip out and she wasn't necessarily wrong, he was jealous when he found out about Lexa and they had a fight and he didn't talk to her and she realized that since agreeing to an open marriage they haven't had sex once.

Clarke had a day off, a real one, not an on call day where she paced while attempting to catch up on The Walking Dead, but a real one where she slept in and did her laundry the right way, she sat down and watched Get Out, being left with more questions than answers as the car drove off into the distance just before the credits rolled, feeling let down but also freaked out because that technology could exist. Ordering Thai and queueing up a new Netflix series she heard about at the hospital.

Half way through the episode, the doorbell rang and Clarke hopped up and opened the door, expecting the Thai delivery boy that always flirted with her, but found a freckled Filipino instead. "Bellamy?"

"Finn and Raven." Of course, that's her life now, people seeing her husband with another woman around town and giving Clarke that look when they see her.

"What about them?"

"I just caught them together and beat the shit out of him."

"Open marriage," Clarke said, thinking that if she didn't tell him. If she never uttered those words, they wouldn't be true. Telling Octavia didn't count, she was a vault, but Bellamy, the man who loves her unequivocally, who left his fiancée because staying with her meant moving across the country a week after their engagement.

"What?"

"We have an open marriage and it's because I'd rather have it in my face, not behind my back."

"Have—have you been with anyone?"

"Two women. One was a pseudo relationship and the other was a one night stand."

"Lexa and Niylah," he remembered, of course he did. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Clarke looked at him, thought about everything they've been through together and she knew that in this moment, if she lied, she'd never be able to forgive herself. "Because you're my first choice and I'd only be giving you part of me and you deserve someone who can give them all to you."

"And what if I'd settle for part of you?"

"Don't settle for part of a person, Bellamy, you're better than that."

"Is that why we're still in your doorway? You don't want to give me a part of you? You'd get all of me and I'd settle for a part of you."

"We're here because I'd be breaking a rule the moment you walk in. One of my rules and I can't be a hypocrite."

Bellamy licked his lips and Clarke knew what was coming. "Come here."

"Bellamy—"

"If you don't, I'm coming inside and making you a hypocrite."

"I love him."

"I know, I'm not okay with that but if I can kiss you when you're married, I'm going to."

Clarke knew she had ten seconds before Bellamy made his move, thinking quickly over every option and scenario this situation can end up in, Clarke closed the distance between them and smashed her lips against Bellamy's.

It definitely wasn't the kiss Clarke thought they'd share, not after Bridgegate 2014 (not the one with Chris Christie [2013], the party the rugby team threw at Chavez Park), it was hard and a little too much teeth and okay, she jumped him and neither were prepared or in their elements, but it transformed into probably the best kiss Clarke ever experienced as Bellamy took over, adjusting the angle with his hand at her jaw and pulling back to get a better pressure and his tongue… what could she say about his tongue that could describe how fucking amazing it was as she swore she came just from the filthy things it did to her mouth until they both were breathless and watching each other, not capable of letting the other go.

Someone cleared their throat and they both jumped back to find the Thai delivery boy waiting.

"You want some Thai?" Clarke asked Bellamy, pulling the money plus the kid's tip out of her jean's pocket.

"I could eat," he said and Clarke somehow knew that if she looked over at him, his eyes would be ravaging her body.

"Thank you, Miss Griffin," the kid said, turning back to his car until Bellamy called after him.

"This could have been you, she's insufferable," he smirked, his grip on Clarke's hip tightening.

She slapped him softly on the arm before pulling away and heading inside. "You coming?"

"I'm not getting any tonight, am I?"

"Nope," Clarke smiled, she wanted her friend back and she wanted to talk to him about everything. That's what she needs, not a good fucking but someone to be emotionally intimate with and Clarke always had Bellamy for that and she missed it.

After hours of talking and watching Stranger Things (Bellamy hating the fact that she hadn't seen it yet), Clarke's head resting on Bellamy's shoulder, fading in and out of sleep. Bellamy kissed her forehead. "I can't do this, Clarke," he whispered and her head shot up and she stared at him, needing him to explain. Needing to know that he didn't mean it the way he was saying it.

"What do you mean?"

"I've been thinking about it all night while we talked and I can't cheat with you. It's not that I don't think Collins deserves it, he absolutely does, but I'm going to think about him when we're together and I can't do that."

"He's with Raven, just think of them together and fuck me harder with your hatred for them," Clarke said, knowing it's what she'd be doing but also knowing that she'd be with Bellamy and their kiss three years ago was something she'd been thinking more and more about lately. The passion and fire Bellamy threw into it like he needed their first kiss to be more than playing Spin the Bottle while her boyfriend sat back and watched them.

"If only I could, but I'd be thinking of him fucking you five minutes before you come to me to fuck you, having me finish you off because he's sub par and doesn't know how to work your exquisite body, making your orgasm the most euphoric experience you've ever had."

"We haven't—he hasn't touched me since the arrangement was set."

"What? You said it was to make the sex better."

"That's what he promised me, but he hasn't touched me in three months."

"You've been married for six months, agreed to an open marriage after three and he hasn't touched you since? Did Lexa or Niylah get you off?"

"No."

"Clarke—"

"I want you, Bellamy. I want to fuck you and I think you want to fuck me too."

Bellamy groaned and stood, shaking his head as he headed to the door.

"Where are you going?" she called after him.

"What I want doesn't matter!" he shot at her. "No matter what, you will always be married to that douche bag! How could you think that I could only fuck you?"

Clarke thought about her answer, but felt sick to her stomach and looked to the ground when she said, "You fucked Raven."

"Jesus," he combed his fingers through his hair, rucking it up even more. "Yeah, I fucked Raven when she found out about you. Oddly enough it was when I found out about your engagement and I realized that I'd never get a real chance with you. So what the hell is this? A pity fuck? I'll go to Echo for that."

"Wait, what happened with Gina?"

"Wow, you didn't even remember her until now did you? She dumped me, thought I was too emotionally unavailable for her, but not for you."

Clarke grimaced, "What?"

"You married Spacewalker, Clarke. Married him. Have you even been with anyone else until him?"

"Wells," she admitted, knowing Bellamy probably didn't want to know the name of the guy she lost her virginity to.

"Your best friend and your first boyfriend who turned into a cheating asshole who bought the cow and is still drinking the goat's milk."

"I'm choosing to not take offense to that analogy, but what the hell am I supposed to do, Bellamy? I don't have the time or money for a divorce. I'm a third year med student, I'm lucky I had today."

He shrugged, "Anything to get out of this sideshow of a marriage."

"And jump into your arms? Up until Gina, I've never seen you with the same girl more than once. How am I supposed to believe that it'd be different with me?"

"Because I—I'm not that asshole jock anymore."

"No," Clarke scoffed. "You're just the hot History TA that has undergrads fawning over him."

"You can't be jealous, Clarke. I'm not the one that got married and has to reap what they've sewn."

The door flung open a few feet behind him and Finn stormed in and decked Bellamy.

"Fuck!" Clarke gasped and ran to Bellamy's side. "What the hell, Finn."

"He beat the crap out of me and I come home to find him here with my wife. Did you fuck him, babe? Did you fuck him in my house? You broke your own damn rule for him. I—"

"At least someone in this house wants to fuck me!" Clarke spat and the moment it came out of her mouth, she knew she shouldn't have said it.

"You want to get fucked? You could have just said so, I'd be ready for you, you just seemed uninterested."

"On the nights you were actually here, I'd be exhausted from work. I have to study and work my ass off to prove to everyone that I belong there, not that my mom pulled a few strings to get me in the program. You know that, I told you it's what you were getting yourself into when you asked me to marry you and you said it was okay. Now I know that it's only okay because you get to go behind my back and fuck Raven.

"Bellamy," Clarke sighed, looking down at him, rubbing his jaw. "He hasn't touched me. He respects that I'm married, he doesn't respect you in the slightest and right now, neither do I. I'm going to my mother's and if you want me, fight for me. If not, I'm getting an annulment and if Bellamy still wants to fuck me after all that, then I'll gladly fuck him."


	3. And We Don't Even Know Why

_**18 Months Ago:**_

 _Clarke looked up from her phone as she neared her apartment building and saw a hooded figure at the door, the wind tugging the hood back and Clarke would know those disheveled locks anywhere. "Bellamy?"_

 _He spun around and gave her a once over. "Finn's cheating on you, a woman named Raven."_

 _"Raven?" she asked, she didn't know the name of the woman, just that they were high school sweethearts._

 _"You deserve better than him."_

 _"Better," Clarke scoffed. "He loves me, he asked me to marry him."_

 _Bellamy's gaze dropped to her left hand at her side, clutching her keys, in search of the ring._

 _"He's sewing his oats, Bellamy, you of all people should know what that's like."_

 _"I'm trying to be a good friend, Clarke, but if you don't care about what your future husband is doing now, don't you think it's a sign?"_

 _"Since when did you care about me or anything involving Finn?"_

 _"That's not fair, Clarke. We were friends and you pushed me away after that kiss, a kiss he wasn't okay with but when it was Monty or Murphy it was okay. He's jealous."_

 _"Jealous? Of you? You sleep with a different woman every night."_

 _"College Bellamy did, but I—"_

 _"Changed? Who were you with tonight?"_

 _"No one, I've been waiting for you while you've been getting engaged."_

 _"You can't blame me for not being here, I have a life."_

 _"You're a second year med student, I thought medicine was your life."_

 _Clarke growled, "Go home, Bellamy. My life is none of your concern."_

 _"Fine, go make the biggest mistake of your life, but don't think I'm going to watch."_

 _"Fine," Clarke pushed around him to unlock her door._

 _"Fine."_

 _Clarke walked inside and slammed the door on Bellamy._

* * *

Clarke rolled over, glaring at the blinding light from the sheers they purchased thinking it was a good idea.

"Morning," Finn said, pressing a kiss to her temple.

Clarke waited for her sense of dread to leave her body when she remembered who she was with, not who she wanted it to be.

Therapy.

Not even a year into their marriage and they were in marriage counseling. She didn't need it, he needed to stop seeing Raven. That was their marriage problem, it was the root of their problems and the branches were anger, resentment and distrust in Clarke. She didn't leave that night like she should have. She stayed in their room while Finn slept on the couch. She set Bellamy's broken nose because Finn punched him again while he said goodnight to her. He offered her his couch to stay until she spoke to her mother but she knew it wouldn't look good in Finn's eyes. She'd be sleeping with Bellamy, not sleeping at his apartment with a door between them. They talked, some moments made Clarke wish she had a morning shift but ultimately, Finn agreed to counseling, it was actually his idea and he'd stay away from Raven. He was trying and last night was the first time they had sex in five months.

Clarke still talked to Bellamy, Octavia kept a distance so Clarke assumed she knew about what happened that night two months ago. They all met up as a group every Saturday, Jasper's been dating a pathologist named Maya, Clarke's seen her when picking up test results for Jackson, she's happy for him, they suit each other. Miller and Bryan broke up and Miller said he was fine but she also caught him watching Monty and Harper together and Clarke wondered if something happened, knowing it wasn't her place to ask anything.

That night her eyes kept catching Bellamy, who was definitely failing at inconspicuously watching her but he was also watching Finn, making sure he didn't notice. She smiled at him and nodded towards the hall of the bathroom.

She stood, telling Finn that she was going to the bathroom and once he was back in a conversation with Mbege, Clarke looked over her shoulder at Bellamy, watching the swing of her hips and she raised her eyebrow at him.

A minute later Bellamy walked over and within seconds, Clarke's mouth was on his. He groaned, pinning her back against the wall of the hallway. "Clarke," he whispered, pressing kisses up her jaw, wanting to mark her as his, but unfortunately knowing better.

Her breathless moans telling him she wanted him to. "Bell," he swore he heard when his teeth grazed over her pulse. "I need—"

His fingers were digging into her hips without realizing, loosening his grip, one hand slid up her waist and ribs, his thumb grazing the underside of her breast, informing him that she wasn't wearing a bra. "Fuck! I know."

His other hand slipped from her hip and down her thigh, his lips sucking down her throat to her collarbone, lapping at the hollow juncture there before his fingers grasped the back of her knee hitching her leg around his hip, grinding his erection against her dampness.

"Oh, God. Please, Bell," she begged, her breath ragged, fingers tugging on his hair.

"Please what, baby? Tell me what you want."

"Touch me," she gasped, scratching at his shoulder with her other hand.

"Where?"

"My clit, touch my clit. Make me come, please, Bellamy. I want you, I think about you when I get off. I need you," she told him and it was too much. He knew he shouldn't, but fuck, if he hasn't been thinking about her more sine that night they didn't share. His nose finally healed and she knew it, waiting until now and fuck, is she worth the wait with how she's panting and canting her hips against his swollen cock. She was so fucking wet too, she had to have been thinking about this all day, working herself up for him. Bellamy refused to think about him and how they could get caught by anyone.

His hand left her thigh and snuck between them, lifting the skirt of her dress higher on her waist, his fingers grazing over her panties, pressing lightly against her clit. Her mouth recaptured his as he groaned at how soaked her panties were.

"What do you think about?" he asked, pulling his lips from hers.

"This, more than this. Fucking myself on your fingers, you fucking me with your fingers. Your…" she went quiet and Bellamy looked down at her heaving chest, contemplating yanking the bodice down and latching his mouth on her hardened nipple poking through the fabric.

"Tell me."

"Your tongue licking me, lapping up every drop and sucking hard on my clit, making me come from that alone. You fucking me. Of course, I don't know what your cock looks like, but fuck, Bellamy, I want to. I want it all with you."

"My fingers tonight baby, we don't have enough time, and someone could come at any minute."

"So I can't suck your cock in return?"

"Fuck," his head dropped on her shoulder. "Yeah, later. Whenever you want, princess."

She rolled her hips against his fingers, urging him on. Don't need to tell him twice. He yanked her panties to the side and slid his finger down her slit and back up, spreading her juices before slamming two fingers into her depth.

She gasped, scraping her nails across his shoulder blade and Bellamy smirked through the dull ache shooting across his back and pressed a kiss to her shoulder before closing his lips over hers to silence her while his fingers stroked in and out of her, his thumb giving her clit the friction she needed as she panted into his mouth.

"Fuck, baby, you're so tight. You want to come on my fingers baby?"

"Yes, Bell, please make me come!"

"Alright, sweet thing, I got you."

She jolted her hips forward, sinking his fingers in deeper ad Bellamy curled his fingers against the soft bundle of nerves that, combined with the friction against her clit, would make her come in seconds.

She bit his bottom lip, trying to silence her scream as the walls of her pussy convulsed around his fingers as he fucked them up into her with the same speed her would if he were fucking her with his cock, hard and fast the first time due to frustration before fucking her like he had in his dreams, passionately, lovingly, telling her everything he feels for her because she needed to know she'd be okay, she'd have him if she left Finn. She should leave Finn, he doesn't deserve her.

Clarke kissed the bite away sweetly as she came down from her high. Bellamy slipped his fingers out of her, fixing her panties before letting her leg down and stepping back. He looked her right in the eyes as he pulled his sopping wet fingers to his mouth and lapped up every bit of her tangy juices.

Her breath was ragged as she watched him, her grip loosening in his curls. "We definitely need to do that again."

"That's not a good idea," Bellamy grimaced, hating himself for saying it.

"Doesn't mean it shouldn't happen again," her breath evening out finally.

"Clarke—"

"You wouldn't have come if you didn't want this. Please, Bell, I can't stop thinking about you. That kiss, and the one three years ago, you were right, I wanted to leave him but I was scared. I still am."

"Nothing we've ever done's been easy, has it?"

"No, but that doesn't mean it isn't worth it."

"You're breaking up your marriage."

"My marriage was over before it even began," she said, smoothing her hair down.

"You look perfect, not like you just fucked my fingers. Head back, I'll get some beers."

Clarke nodded and walked out of the hall and back to their friends. My marriage ended before it even began, what the hell did that mean?

Walking back to the table with two fresh pitchers of lager, making up for his lateness, blaming it on a too drunk, too shameless flirt he couldn't shake for anything. His eyes glanced over at Clarke who was biting back a smirk at his lie before grabbing one of the pitchers to fill her own glass up.

* * *

 _ **3 Years Ago:**_

 _"He's a good guy once you give him a chance," Octavia said one night after bar hopping with their friends, fake IDs in hand and her brother to scold them and make their fakes look a little more legitimate._

 _"Never in my life will I give Bellamy Blake a chance. He's a misogynistic asshole," Clarke declared drunkenly, face down in her pillow._

 _"My brother is not misogynistic and aren't you too drunk to know big words?"_

 _"Politics I'm sober for always. Misogyny is politics."_

 _"State of being, but whatever you say, you drank a lot, babe."_

 _Clarke groaned, "Sleep sounds so good!"_

 _"Wait, take some aspirin before you do that, you're going to be hungover like hell tomorrow."_

 _"I hate him," she groaned. "I will always hate him, no matter how much I love you."_

 _"I know, I know. Up," O said pulling on Clarke's arm and she sat up taking the water and aspirin from Octavia and downed them before collapsing on the bed, the world going black instantly._

* * *

"Why is Blake happy?" Miller asked the next Saturday.

"What?" Clarke grimaced, looking over at the man in question at the bar.

"He's been in a shit mood for nearly two years, Finn broke his nose two months ago and was the biggest ass since then but the past week he's been happy, do you know why?"

She shrugged, "No idea."

"I think there might be a girl he's hiding."

"A girl? Bellamy doesn't do girls and Gina doesn't count, she was a string of hook ups he thought could be more than it was and failed epically as predicted."

"Because of you," he pointed out and Clarke needed to turn this around and back on the Blake in question.

"Because Bellamy is horrible at relationships and feelings, specifically expressing those feelings."

Miller grimaced at her, probably wondering if she's caught all the things he's done for her over the years to prove that he does care. The whole "actions speak louder than words" thing not being missed by her, but his words did counteract his actions. "If I wanted you, Princess, I'd already have you," being the one that really hurt her.

"What are you guys talking about?" he asked, placing the pitcher on the table.

"How you suck at relationships," Miller said and Clarke grimaced, biting her lip.

"Oh, really, Princess? I think I can put a finger on something I'm good at."

Clarke gaped at him for a moment, "You're good at recalling history. Specifically ancient history," she said pointedly at him. Of course it wasn't, she had a busy week and Finn was really trying, showing up on her later shifts to bring her dinner so if she lied and ducked out early, he'd know if he happened to swing by that night.

Bellamy chuckled, nodding with bemused understanding, "Festival of Vinalia, want me to go on about it?"

"Maybe if I get too excited and need to be bored to death," she quipped back, hoping he saw through it, she thinks that maybe it could be a thing for them, him talking history to get her all worked up. His words rasping against her ear, slowly working her to the edge, craving his touch to bring her the rest of the way over.

"You okay?" he smirked, probably guessing her thoughts.

She nodded, pouring herself a pint of beer, noticing Jasper and Monty on their way over to them.

"Hey, guys!"

"Griffin!" Jasper exclaimed. "Where's dickweed?"

"Finn isn't here… yet."

"The fact that you knew he was talking about Collins," Monty laughed before guiltily looking down when Miller looked at him.

"It's not like he'd ask me about anyone else. And he wouldn't dare call Bellamy or Miller 'dickweed'."

"Not out loud at least," Jasper smirked, earning a shoulder punch from each guy.

After they all had a beer the guys started talking about some video game that Clarke knew nothing about, spending her free time studying and watching movies, seriously, ask her about any movie and she can give you a whole synopsis on it and which actors played which characters. Completely disinterested, Clarke pulled her phone out of her purse and found a text from Finn saying he couldn't make it and his law professor needed his assistance on a case. She typed back a response before switching over to the group chat she has with Octavia, Harper, Monroe and occasionally Fox will add something in, but rarely.

 **Clarke**  
Where are you guys?  
The bar is really lame with just the boys  
They're talking about video games…

 **Monroe**  
O's handling something and Harper is  
talking to the police…

 **Clarke**  
What the hell did O do?

 **Octavia**  
Nothing! Jeez, a girl can't even… you  
know what, I support everything I did  
and I didn't even get arrested.

 **Harper  
** We're on our way.

 **Clarke  
** WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!

 **Octavia**  
Latina's ass was nearly beat.  
I had her. They made me let her go :(

 **Clarke**  
Latina?  
Raven?  
OCTAVIA, WHAT DID YOU DO?

 **Monroe  
** Relax, b there in 5 to xplain everything.

Clarke rolled her eyes, knowing that nothing would be explained and if Octavia pulled some Krav Maga shit on Raven for her, she'd lost Finn for good.

"I would've had her if Gina didn't call the cops. I knew that girl was smart enough to be afraid of me," Octavia told everyone once she sat down.

"Seriously, O. I told you I wouldn't bail you out again," Bellamy scolded.

"That's what I've got Lincoln for," she smiled. "Is he here yet?"

"Haven't seen him," Clarke shrugged.

"And, uh, your cheater?"

"Cancelled."

"Sorry, babe."

Clarke shrugged, "Whatever. I'll see him tonight."

* * *

Clarke came to a halt at the top of the stairs when she saw Bellamy at the security desk. Grimacing she finished going down them and stopped when she was next to him.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's been two weeks and I can't stop thinking about it."

"I know and I'm trying to figure something out but he's being more attentive and—"

"You need to relax, you need something to relieve your stress," he smirked.

She grimaced at him before turning to Lou, "He's with me."

"And your husband?"

"If he come in before Mr. Blake leaves, please tell him I'm in surgery."

"I get the food he brings you."

"You can even have the flowers," Clarke smirked, grabbing Bellamy's hand and dragged him to the closest on call room.

She pushes him down onto a cot and glared at him. "You can't do this, Bell. You can't just show up to my job expecting me to be okay with it."

"Princess," he started but Clarke shook her head, she wasn't done.

"Don't 'princess' me, Bellamy, I can't stop thinking about it, okay? But you can't show up to my job."

"I know, I'm sorry."

Clarke sighed and dared to glance down at the bulge in his pants. "You like it when I yell at you?"

"Always," he smirked.

Clarke licked her lips contemplating what the hell she was going to do with Bellamy. She knew what she wanted to do, she knew what he wanted, but what could she do that she could get out of the room quickly if she got a page?

She stepped towards him, closing the distance and she looked up at him with a smirk before licking her lips as her fingers pulled at his belt buckle, loosening it. She kept full eye contact as she unbuttoned his jeans and they dropped down his legs and pooling at his ankles.

"Sit down, Bellamy," she demanded and his eyes darkened as he did what he was told.

His erection tented his boxers and Clarke knelt in front of him. She wanted to kiss him, she did, but she also wanted her mouth on him. Finn never wanted her to give him a blow job, something about tasting himself on her lips afterward, well fuck him. No, not fuck him, fuck Bellamy, that's what she wanted. Bellamy.

"Clarke—"

"Don't talk," she said, her hands moving from his knees, up his thighs, over his boxers to the slit in them, freeing his hard on from its confines. Fuck, she thought, holding back a smirk. He's bigger than expected.

"Clarke," he breathed, ignoring her order.

"What?"

"I want to help you relax."

"I'm relaxed, you're not," her fingers wrapped around the base of his shaft, squeezing gently once and he groaned. "Kiss me first."

Clarke looked up at him, at his dark, pleading eyes and she obliged after spitting in her palm.

Their lips crashed together as her hand pumped him slowly, two different speeds and frictions comingling within their intimacy. As the kiss slowed and faltered, Clarke's hand moved faster and more assured. She wasn't nervous with Bellamy, she thought she would be, she thought she'd feel guilty, or bad, but because it was him, because he's been with her through everything in one way or another, she knew that he would love whatever she did to make him come. He'd love her no matter what.

Pulling her lips from his she smiled, looking down at the precum slipping down his frenulum.

She sat back on her heels and dipped her head down, licking up the seam, getting the heady taste of Bellamy on her tongue and damn does she want more. One taste will never be enough.

She pushed him back onto his elbows, refusing to go any further and she rolled her eyes at his obstinacy and tried avoiding looking up at him with his blown pupils through hooded eyes.

She moaned at his taste, lingering on her tongue before pulling her eyes from his, licking at the head again before using her hand to lift his shaft and licked a long, flat stripe from base to tip.

"Fuck, princess," he murmured.

Her head lowered, tongue flicking out at him again, before she finally obliges and opens her mouth. Teasing him, she sucked on just the tip, hearing a muffled curse before taking him deeper.

She wanted to be lazy, she wanted to take her time edging him slowly to his release, but she wouldn't have the time. She knew her pager would go off at any given moment and she'd have to leave him high and dry… pun intended.

His words were filthy praises she couldn't indulge in, worrying about her pager going off, all the while giving him her all.

His fingers tangled in her hair, guiding her, pushing further and further onto him. She didn't know a cock with such a wide girth could feel so fucking good on her tongue or could even exist and the thought of it made her crave him more, ride him fast and slow. Take their time and rush through it on her lunch break. She couldn't indulge in his filthy praises but she sent them to the back of her mind for later use, properly review their time in this room together with his words instead of worrying about not being able to push him over.

Her free hand fondles his balls, and his jaw clicks shut after another vulgar praise. He tugged on her hair, making her moan around his cock, feeling the hot twitch against her tongue.

"You're gonna fucking kill me, Princess," he groans, eyes fluttering shut.

She sucked harder, loud slurps echoing in the small room as his hips bucked up and into her mouth. She pulled back and looked up at him. "Wanna fuck my mouth, Bell?"

His eyes went wide, wondering if she really meant it, before sighing and said, "God, yes."

Clarke smirked, she knew he'd want to, she couldn't blame him, she was torturing him and they both knew it.

"Open your mouth a bit more for me, okay?"

Clarke did what he asked and Bellamy stood up so Clarke had to scooch back some. "Suck me again then loosen your jaw when your lips are around just the tip. You want me to fuck your mouth, baby? Fuck, I'm going to fuck you mouth. You're going to swallow me down, just remember to breathe through your nose."

Clarke nodded and sucked him as far back as she could, nearly choking before pulling back slowly, letting her tongue dance against his shaft, licking and toying with the thick vein bulging. Releasing the pressure around the head Clarke looked up at Bellamy, waiting.

"Ready, baby?" his fingers twining back into her hair, his thumb rubbing her weak spot under her ear. "Remember to loosen your jaw," he said, watching her warily before thrusting gently into her, hitting the back of her throat and she breathed through her nose.

"Good, girl," he praised.

His thrusts became harder and deeper and Clarke relaxed all through them until she felt the pulsating against her tongue and she pulled back just enough to suck on the tip as he spurt his load out onto her tongue and she moaned, loving every ounce.

"Fucking love that pretty mouth of yours," he sighed, pulling her up to kiss her, licking his own taste out of her mouth.

"That was…" Clarke shook her head, not knowing how to describe it.

"Incredible. Thank you, baby. I should get back to my thesis and you should go before you get in trouble," he said pulling his jeans back up.

"Yeah," she agreed, her voice raspy from his assault.

"See you later?"

"I'm on call next Saturday so I can go to the bar but I can't drink in case they call me in."

"I prefer you sober," he smirked, kissing her temple and headed to the door.

"I thought you couldn't do this," she said when he began turning the door handle, not wanting him to leave.

Bellamy's jaw ticked as he pulled the door open, "I don't know how to stop wanting you."

He walked out, leaving Clarke alone in the near dark with his confession.

* * *

"Gina, Raven, what are you guys doing here?" Clarke asked nervously, hoping there was a line for the men's room.

"We just saw the new Transformers. It was awesome! What are you—Bellamy?" Gina asked as he stepped up next to Clarke with a bag of popcorn.

"Hey, what are you—what'd you see?"

Raven was eyeing him, and Clarke was wondering what the hell she was looking for. "Transformers," Gina repeated. "Actually, could I talk to you for a minute?"

Bellamy looked to Clarke who shouldn't have an opinion on the matter since according to the whole world, they're just friends.

"So, you and Blake?" Raven asked awkwardly.

"Friends," Clarke confirmed.

"Finn hates him."

"Yeah, it's not like I particularly like all of his friends. I'm not going to stop being friends with someone because my husband doesn't like them."

"How long have you been in love with Bellamy?"

"I'm not."

Raven practically doubled over with laughter, "Right, you two were acting like deer caught in the headlights and he had one soda with one straw and one popcorn bucket. You'd get your own if it were two 'just friends' seeing a movie."

Clarke's mouth gaped at Raven when Bellamy and Gina came back over.

"What happened?" Bellamy asked concerned.

"Just helping a friend," Raven smirked, taking Gina's hand in hers before walking out of the theater.

"Clarke, what the hell did she say to you?"

"She thinks I'm in love with you."

"Oh," Bellamy said. "Are you?"

"I don't know. Is that weird? That there are parts of me that want to be in love with you, want to be with you, and other parts that want to stay with him?"

"No, it's not weird. It sucks, but it's not weird."

Clarke grimaced, she knew Bellamy was trying to be nice about everything. He's not happy about her being with Finn but he's trying to be accepting and respecting her boundaries and decisions, even if it means he's unhappy. "And now I can't ask to stay at your place because it'd be weirder."

"Where is he?"

"Los Angeles."

"Six hour drive," he took her hand in his and smiled. "If you don't want to go home, you're always welcome at my place."

"I thought we might have sex but I don't—"

"Clarke, baby. I want you and I'm willing to fight for you, but I don't know if he's willing to fight for you or if you'd be fighting for us or for your sham of a marriage."

* * *

Clarke rolled over, Raven's words in her head from two days ago, "in love with Bellamy." How hadn't she known that? How hadn't she seen that she was being unfair to him for stringing him along and unfair to herself for not ending it with Finn when she could've. No one would have blamed her, an annulment would have made it like it never happened and she could've been with Bellamy for months. Actually with him.

Hearing the shower Clarke looked over at the clock on Finn's side of the bed and found his phone unlocked. Raven.

She grabbed the phone and sent herself Raven's number and deleted the text so Finn wouldn't see, wouldn't question it. It wasn't his business.

She put the phone back with no evidence that she used it. She got up and ready for her day, waiting until she got to the hospital to text Raven.

 **Clarke**  
Hey, it's Clarke. I was hoping we could  
continue our conversation from the other  
day at the theater.

She waited a minute before remembering Octavia jumped her a few weeks ago and texted her again.

 **Clarke**  
I swear, just you and me, no crazy  
Octavia and possibly coffee. You can  
even pick where and when.

 **Raven**  
I didn't even think about Octavia  
trying to kill me as an option of  
correlating events. Are you free  
tomorrow?  
Grinders 11?

 **Clarke  
** Sounds good. Thank you

* * *

Clarke walked into Grinders and found Raven sitting at a table with two cups of coffee, plucking at the rim of the one in her hands and the other seemingly waiting for Clarke.

"Hey," she said and for some reason Clarke felt guilty, like she was the one caught cheating with Finn when he's been with Raven since high school.

"I got you a coffee. I didn't know how you liked it so it's black and they'll add whatever you want so—"

"Black is perfect."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Clarke smiled before taking a sip, liquid gold. Damn.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

"How…" Clarke sighed, not knowing what to say or how to ask or what to—"Do you love him?"

"Finn?"

"Yeah, do you love him?"

"I did. I also convinced myself that you're a man stealing bitch but Gina started seeing Bellamy and she said you were kind of awesome. She didn't know about Finn until Octavia started that fight and I had to explain everything. I don't love him, but I don't think I could just walk away from him either."

"So you want to be his friend?"

"I don't think that's really it, but I wouldn't abandon him. Why are you asking?"

"I've been thinking about getting an annulment."

"Clarke—"

"Misrepresentation. He's been with you for… what like ten years? The state will recognize that, they'll see that since he's been sleeping with you—"

"You want me to go to the courts with you and say I've been sleeping with your husband since high school?"

"That would help, but I really didn't think about that. I don't really know what I was thinking but since Bellamy and I ran into you and Gina, I—I can't stop thinking about you asking if I'm in love with Bellamy. And every time I ask myself that, I say yes. I'm pretty sure, I'm not supposed to while married to Finn."

"Yeah, no." Raven chuckled, sipping her coffee. "Does Bellamy know?"

"I'd rather not tell him until I'm not married."

"And Finn? You're going to blindside him?"

"I don't really see another option, he wants to work on us."

"Counselling isn't working?"

"Attentive husband in every way but the way I want. He still thinks about you, about what you two could be," Clarke shook her head, realizing exactly how fucked up in the head her husband was.

Raven grimaced, "I'm sorry, I haven't talked to him in months. He texts, but nothing from my end. I have this thing for not blaming other girls for guys' wrongdoings and this is Finn's wrongdoing."

Clarke had to agree, Finn did this to them and Clarke knew that Raven had to be cool with Gina as a best friend because Gina is cool, Clarke just hated that she was with Bellamy.

"No, that makes sense. I'm going to call a lawyer."


	4. Funny How the Stars Cross, Right

"You did what?" Finn exclaimed, unpacking everything Clarke just put in the suitcase.

"I got an annulment. Will you stop unpacking everything? You're out of my house, Finn, and I don't care where you go. You're out today."

"This is because of Blake! I see how he looks at you, how you look at him! I'm gonna—"

Clarke shook her head, she knew Finn was going to do this, she knew he was going to blame Bellamy when it's all about him cheating, not her feelings for anybody else.

"This is about you! You don't care about me. Don't tell me it isn't true, I see how you are when you don't think I'm looking. You think about Raven, you think about her when we're having sex. You think about her all the time."

"She's like family!"

"Family? You have sex with your family?"

"You know that isn't what I meant, Clarke. Where am I supposed to go? I don't have any—"

"That's not my problem. I was hiding, Finn. Marrying you, sticking it out this long, I was being a coward. Love? You don't know the meaning of the word. You use it to manipulate people, you tell Raven you love her, you tell me, but do you know what it means? It means you're constantly thinking of that person, you can't wait to talk to them and tell them about everything that's happened throughout your day no matter how inane, just because you knew they'd think it was funny. Everything you do is to make them happy and it goes both ways. You don't do that for me, you don't do it for Raven so what are you doing?"

Finn opened his mouth to answer but Clarke continued, "If you didn't know that that was rhetorical, we really shouldn't be together. Now, you can either leave or I can call Miller and Murphy, which would you rather?"

"You mean Bellamy?" he grimaced, puffing out his chest.

"No, I mean Miller and Murphy. If I call Bellamy, you'd both wind up in jail and I don't need that."

"He's going to fight me?"

Clarke scoffed, "For me, he's going to try and kill you. So, leave on your own or leave by force?"

"Miller will bring Bellamy."

"No, he won't, he knows better."

"I'd like to see him try to kill me," Finn countered and Clarke rolled her eyes, she knows he's trying to buy time but she's not having it. She wants him gone, has for a while and still questions why she even married him in the first place (especially after knowing how great a kisser Bellamy is).

"You really think he won't? Finn, I'm serious. Take your stuff and leave."

"You're serious?"

"Yes," she rolled her eyes, she just said that. "I'm serious. And don't think you're welcome to Saturday nights at the bar because you're not."

"They were my friends first."

Rugby team, that doesn't necessarily make you friends, teammates, acquaintances, but if they don't like you, they're not your friends. "They can barely stand you! The only reason you're still around is because of me and I can't do this anymore. I can't keep pretending and hiding. So pack your stuff and get out. Once you get an apartment or whatever, you can come get the rest of it."

"Clarke—"

"Stop, Finn. This isn't a discussion, the state of California nullified our marriage because you've been in a longer relationship with Raven than with me."

"You're using Raven against me?"

"Actually, she helped me and she is done with you too."

"What?"

"I'm giving you five minutes to get your things and get out. If you don't, I'm calling Murphy and Miller."

Finn huffed and picked up all the stuff he'd just deposited back in the dresser. "Fine!"

Clarke left the room and fell against the hallway wall. It's happening, it's real. She pulled out her phone and texted Raven.

 **CLARKE:**  
He argued with me for a while  
but he's packing his stuff now

 **RAVEN:**  
I'm so happy for you.  
What are you going to do about  
Bellamy?

 **CLARKE:**  
I haven't decided yet.  
I'm nervous

 **RAVEN:**  
You didn't tell Octavia either?

 **CLARKE:**  
Just you. Hey, if you want to,  
you should come to the bar  
Saturday.  
I'll protect you from O and I'd  
love some support for telling  
everyone.

 **RAVEN:**  
You need to tell Bellamy alone  
first.

 **CLARKE:**  
I know, but I'm nervous. It's a  
real chance for us now, what if  
he doesn't want to now that he  
can?

 **RAVEN:**  
Seriously? Clarke, that boy is  
stupid in love with you. It was  
definitely killing him seeing  
you with Finn. Tell him before  
you tell anyone else. Aside  
from me, I already know :)

 **CLARKE:**  
You helped me.  
Thank you, Rae. I couldn't  
have done this without you.

Finn stepped out of the room and grimaced, the suitcase being pulled behind him. "I love you, Clarke."

"You have a weird way of showing it."

"I'm going to fight this."

"Fight what? According to the state of California, we were never married."

"This is because of Blake, isn't it?"

God, he's just repeating himself now…

"No, it's because I deserve better than a boy who wants to cheat on me with whoever the hell he wants."

"See? Right there, you're using his words against me!"

Clarke scoffed, "He's my best friend, Finn, and you can't seem to let whatever petty feud there is between the two of you go. You're being a child."

"Me? He can't stand that you're with me! He wants you to himself!"

"I'm not with you! We're over Finn."

He scoffed and Clarke knew he wasn't going to give this up, not for a long time and Clarke doesn't want to bring Bellamy into it, doesn't want to have someone else fight this battle for her, which is exactly what Bellamy would do to protect her, but she can protect herself and she's going to. Meaning she can't tell Bellamy and she can't bring Raven to the bar on Saturday.

"You're going to tell him."

"I'm telling all my friends because they're going to ask."

"Our friends."

"No one likes you! Now are you going to go now or are you going to argue with me just so I'll call Miller?"

"All Blake wants is sex. Once you give him that he's going to toss you aside. You've seen it, you know I'm right."

"This has nothing to do with Bellamy. Jesus, you're obsessed, you know that? It's a problem. Now, get out before Miller tosses you out."

"Fine, but if I see you with him—"

"If you see me with him, it's not going to be as anything more than two friends spending time together. We aren't like that."

"You really don't think I've seen how you look at him? I've seen the looks between you, how you two sneak off to the bathroom together. You're screwing him."

Clarke scoffed, shaking her head. "You're delusional."

* * *

The rest of Clarke's week was a blur, she worked every day, getting called in on her day off because of an accident. Jackson gave her more and more responsibility, which she would never turn down, but it was draining and by Saturday night, she didn't want to go to the bar with her friends, she didn't want to have to play the referee between Raven and Octavia and she most definitely didn't want to lie to them all about where Finn was since he wasn't with either of them.

"You're going, I've been looking forward to this. Is that sad?"

"No, why should it be? As far as I know, you only have Gina and Wick and I've always said that friends are important," Clarke said stepping out of the hospital and started walking home, switching the phone to her other ear.

"You have?"

"Okay, no, but these guys are like a family and they're relatively welcoming. I think since we're friends, they'll be more forgiving about the sleeping with Finn thing because I forgave you."

"Hey, let's get it right, I forgave you for marrying him."

Clarke rolled her eyes, "Oh, sure. So you'll be here at six and we'll head over then?"

"Sounds good aside from the fact that you still haven't told Bellamy."

"I will. I just—I was busy and Finn said that I did this to be with Bellamy and I don't want that to be the only reason."

"But he is a reason."

Clarke smiled, finally admitting it out loud. "Yeah, he is."

"So tell him and tell him that it's what Finn is thinking and will use it against you if he does decide to fight it."

"I hate this. I just want to be with Bellamy and not care about who's watching or how it's going to look."

"You can."

"I can't. If Finn fights it and they see that I'm with Bellamy, they're going to question the origins of the relationship and it's not going to be good if they find out that I lied under oath because I've been with him for about a month."

"Clarke, screw Finn. You got out of it. I got out of it. I'm right behind you to support you, fuck him."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. There's a special place in Hell for women who don't support other women."

Clarke smirked, "Okay."

"You're going to be ready, right? Hot and sexy?"

"That's not really what we do…"

"Well, for Bellamy, you should."

Clarke rolled her eyes while also thinking of the perfect dress. "We're going to have to make a quick stop on the way there."

"Please tell me it's for a sexy dress because I've seen your closet and it needs some improvement."

"Gee, thanks, I'm too busy to work on that and ninety percent of my wardrobe are scrubs."

"Don't you have a shift to finish?"

"Funny, I've been off for an hour and just got home."

"Shower, curl your hair, I'll be over in an hour to do your make up and we'll go get the dress on the way."

"You're more excited about this than I am."

* * *

Clarke stepped out of the fitting room and Raven's jaw dropped

"Damn, he won't know what hit him!"

"Yeah?"

"I thought 'little black dress' was just something people said, but Clarke, babe. That is… WOW!"

"So I'm going to wear this out of the store."

"You'd better."

Clarke smiled and walked back into the fitting room to fold up her jeans and t-shirt she wore, folding them into her oversized bag and pulled on the cute black wedges she's owned for years. "I'm not over doing it, am I?"

"Maybe, but you're newly single, you can dress up for a night out if you want to," Raven smiled in support.

"Okay," Clarke breathed and went out to get rung up for the dress that may or may not cost more than her monthly phone bill.

Fifteen minutes later they walked into the bar and Clarke spotted Miller and Lincoln in the back booth, Bryan was at the bar and Clarke chose him as the lesser of the two evils.

"Damn, Clarke, Finn taking you out?"

"Who?" Raven and Clarke said simultaneously, looking at each other with a smirk.

"Who's your friend?"

"Raven Reyes," she said introducing herself and Bryan went ghost white.

"Relax, Bryan, we're cool. She actually picked out my outfit. You and Miller okay?"

"Yeah, was awkward for a minute, but we're good. He's happy with Monty."

"Yeah, he is."

"So you two are here and Finn is..?"

"Not in the picture, but she has to tell Bellamy and hasn't," Raven explained.

"Sounds like Clarke," Bryan smirked, acquiring some of Miller's sass in the divorce—break-up.

"Jeez, such faith! Should I go tell Miller you're not over him just to be spiteful?"

"God, no. You do know that everyone knows you've been fucking Bellamy for a month, right? You guys suck at secrets."

"We didn't have sex. That never happened."

"Hands and oral count," Raven added before turning to order from the bartender that just walked over to them.

Clarke rolled her eyes and left the two to their own devices and went to warn Lincoln and Miller about Raven.

"Clarke? If I weren't happily in love with Octavia.. what's the occasion?" Lincoln asked once he rolled his tongue back in his mouth.

"Celebrating the single life," she smiled, leaning on shocked Miller's shoulders. "I left Finn and the state declared our sham marriage exactly that, so I'm going to celebrate with my friends and thank my helper, who is Raven by the way. She's talking to Bryan right now."

"And Bellamy..?" Miller asked.

Clarke rolled her eyes, she's been doing that a lot lately. "So everyone thinks this is about Bellamy?"

"He hated you with him and it definitely wasn't because of it being Finn."

"And everything to do with it not being him," Lincoln finished.

"I know. And if Bryan knows what's been going on with me and Bellamy, you all do. He wasn't even here."

"We all know that you refuse to sit near each other but when you make eye contact and a minute later one of you goes to the bathroom, the other goes to the bar and you don't come back for fifteen minutes," Miller smiled.

"Okay, fine, we hooked up once, but that was it, okay?"

"Whatever you say."

Monty, Octavia, Harper and Bellamy walked into the bar and Clarke headed back over to Raven and Bryan. Raven handed her a beer.

"Thank you. Everyone's here. Bryan, you need help with the pitchers?"

"No, I can handle it. I'll be there in a minute," he smiled.

"Everything okay?" Clarke asked Raven on the short walk.

"Yeah, just don't want Octavia to punch me again."

"I'll block her."

Raven grimaced and stopped just behind Clarke when they got to the table.

"Guys, this is Raven, she's going to be joining us tonight so best behaviors, please."

"Okay, Dad," Jasper said scooching between her and Raven to get in the booth.

"Why?" Octavia questioned with a bite.

"Because she's cool and has been a great friend this week and I claimed her in the divorce," Clarke smiled and Raven laughed because it's so comically true.

Clarke's eyes connected with Bellamy's, finding him already watching her and she bit her lip, trying to hide her nerves or… fuck, she's an idiot for not doing something about him sooner.

"Divorce?" he asked, his lips barely moving while his eyes searched her face.

"Nullified, actually," she scoffed, trying to make light of the subject since they weren't alone. She should have told him alone.

"Cool, got rid of the douche bag," he nodded and looked around her, probably at Bryan with the pitcher and glasses. He pushed past her and he was gone.

"That was anticlimactic," Raven grimaced.

"He's trying to keep his cool," Octavia and Miller said together, knowing him as well as Clarke does.

"Octavia, are we cool?"

Octavia shrugged, "You with Finn."

"Never again."

"Then we're cool."

Everyone piled into the booth, leaving two seats on either end for Bellamy and Bryan, Clarke the last one in along with Lincoln so when the two boys came over bearing beer, Bryan snatched the seat next to Lincoln, leaving Bellamy next to Clarke.

She was in the middle of a discussion about the proper way to sew a button on a shirt when Bellamy stood up and headed over to the bar, Clarke's eyes followed him the whole way, watching him order from the bartender and began talking to the girl next to him.

Raven snapped her fingers in front of Clarke's face and she looked back at her friends who were all watching her.

"He's not going to do something about it unless you do," Octavia reminded her. "He' going to give you space. Your divorce shouldn't be about him."

"It's not."

"Show him you're ready," Miller pushed.

"He's going to think he's my rebound," Clarke sighed.

"Then he'll be an even bigger idiot than we originally thought because that spin the bottle kiss years ago was all passion and heat and seduction and I want to puke because that's my brother."

"Fine, I'm going!" Clarke exclaimed, practically running out of the booth like it was on fire. "Hey," she said when she got to the bar next to Bellamy and the girl. "The gang's getting restless."

He shrugged, "So order for them. I'm not in the mood for domestic."

Clarke grimaced at the dig, knowing he'd been waiting to use it. "No need to tell me that, but does sheknow?" she nodded at the girl he was just talking to and stopped to shoot jabs at Clarke instead.

"Not really your business now, is it, Princess?"

"Is that your final decision… Bellamy?" she asked throwing as much feeling and meaning into her words as possible.

He narrowed his gaze. "You don't want to play this game with me, Princess. You won't win."

"Are you willing to risk what you desire most in this world on that?" she asked slow and seductive.

"It was nice talking to you, Bree. Have a good night," Bellamy nearly growled at the poor girl. "What do you want, Clarke?" he spat once Bree was gone.

"Was this all about pissing off Finn? Was that your goal with me because I'm single now and I'm not afraid of my feelings now."

"Good for you."

"You're such an asshole."

"And you're a self-righteous princess thinking you can have whoever you want whenever you want them. That's not how the world works."

"I know that, Bellamy. I know that I never should have married him, I was just… I'm not blaming you, but you were never in a serious relationship until Gina. How was anyone supposed to know that you wanted a relationship if all you had were one night stands and a series of overlapping flings?"

"What did it matter? You were blissfully in love with Finn, who the hell was I to get between that?"

Clarke's mind flashed to Bridgegate and huffed, "I could have proxied."

Bellamy blinked with realization at the change of course the conversation was veering into. "Then why didn't you?"

"You'd never let me live it down."

"Bullshit."

"Fine, I wanted to. I wanted you. I—I want you," her voice nearly broke at the weak confession.

"The princess can't always get what she wants."

"Fine, then what do you want, Bellamy?"

"To have met you first."

She brazenly checked him out, not missing the bulge in his jeans as she raised her eyebrow. "Cocky asshole wasn't my type back then."

"And now?" he grumbled.

"You're not cocky," Clarke challenged with a smirk.

Bellamy chuckled as he stepped into her space, his warm chocolate eyes nearly black as he shook his head softly looking down at her. "Baby, you have no idea how cocky I am."

His large hand held her hip tightly, pulling her in closer so she could feel exactly how cocky he was.

"Prove me wrong."

Bellamy's smirk was wicked, "I've waited four and a half years, Princess. You're going to have to beg for it if you're that desperate."

* * *

"Bellamy?" he heard her groan as he started walking out of her room after depositing her drunken form under the sheets.

"Yeah?" he asked looking back at her looking totally wrecked and yet so peaceful.

"Stay."

"I—"

"Just sleep. I promise."

He sighed, no matter how much he wanted to, he shouldn't. She needs to realize what's happened in her life, not replace Finn, even if she doesn't realize it's what she's doing.

He's being logical for once in his life.

Caving still, he walked around to the other side of the bed and kicked off his shoes, he curled in behind her over the sheets.

By morning he was gone and Clarke was unaware of her request.


	5. You Can Call it Fire and Ice

**YESTERDAY 11:14 PM**

 **MILLER  
** UR the worst.  
I really have no idea y I'm  
friends w/ u  
No ik y we started talkin but  
since uv been a total n  
complete letdown n I'm done  
with it.  
Bree? Srsly! Psycho  
I'll spell it out 4 u  
P  
S  
Y  
C  
H  
I  
O  
Fuck autocorrect  
n get ur ass over here b4 I  
start tellin stories O doesn't  
want to hear bout u  
I'm starting with Trina  
K. Clarke left the table 2 so the  
good stuff is gonna b shared.  
Thought you might save these  
stories for y'all's honeymoon  
Is that wat it is? Y'all's or y'all  
honeymoon? Fuck it. I need  
more alcohol.

 **TODAY 8:15 AM**

 **Bellamy  
** That's what happens when I  
leave the table every week? U  
guys suck. Idk y I'm friends w/  
any of u.

 **MILLER**  
It is indeed. U stay w/ the  
princess last night? U kno she  
didn't leave him 4 u but she  
does want u. Give her a chance

 **BELLAMY**  
I'm not a rebound.

 **MILLER**  
Ur an idiot if u really think ur a  
rebound

 **BELLAMY**  
You saying I'm not? She was  
JUST with him and now she  
wants me, how is that not a  
rebound?

 **MILLER**  
Because she has always...  
God Idk  
She's Clarke

 **BELLAMY**  
No shit dumbass

 **MILLER**  
She also loves you. Don't say  
she doesn't. U 2 have been  
sniffing around each other  
for years, it's why Finn always  
kept her on a short leash.

 **BELLAMY**  
It was long enough for her not  
to see what he was doing with  
Raven

 **MILLER**  
Don't do that. Don't belittle her  
feelings 4 u because ur scared  
she'll change her mind. Finn  
saw it years ago n she's finally  
owning up 2 it so deal n  
reciprocate cause everyone  
knows u do

 **BELLAMY**  
Aight. Later man.

Bellamy filled his coffee cup again and tapped his foot on the stool. He couldn't wake her, she'd gotten trashed. Maybe he was too harsh with her, maybe he'd had too much to drink, but she didn't even tell him she was getting her marriage annulled and sprung it on him in front of everyone like just another friend and not… what the hell was he to her?

"Bell?" he heard weakly from the hall upstairs.

"Kitchen," he called, half hoping she was still asleep.

A moment later she was in the doorway wrapped in a blanket from the foot of her bed. "I'm sorry."

"Me too. You didn't deserve that."

"No, I did. I—I should have told you before I told them but I felt like you would've thought I did it for you. I did it for me and… for Raven," Clarke licked her lips and stepped into the kitchen. "I didn't know how to tell you."

"'Hey, Bellamy, I'm going to court today to try and get my sham of a marriage nullified.'"

She sighed, "I know." She grabbed a mug and poured herself some coffee, leaning back against the island to talk to him. "What would you have thought?"

"That you were doing it for me."

"Exactly. I wasn't but whether I told you that or not, it's what you would've believed. I know you and I want this but I don't want you to have regrets so if you need time, I'll give you time. If you don't want this, you have to tell me so I can move on. So I…"she took a sobering breath and a sip of coffee.

Bellamy shook his head and stepped towards her, "Clarke, we don't have to do this."

"We do. We... I do," she shook her head, blinking back the tears and Bellamy pulled her into him.

"We don't, okay? I got you. I'm not going anywhere and I'm not going to change my mind." He kissed her temple and Clarke relaxed into his chest. "I've been yours long before you met Collins, you'd just never go out with Octavia to ever meet me."

Clarke pulled away and grimaced at him, "With how she talked about you, why would I?"

"I watched you on her snapchat and Instagram because this amazing roommate of my sister's wouldn't meet me. I fell in love with you through her social media.

"I hated seeing you with him. I thought being an ass and making you hate me would work, but it didn't and then we were friends and you were engaged and… Raven. You wouldn't talk to me, Clarke, didn't invite me to your wedding. I tried being good to Gina, treat her how I'd treat you but she wasn't you. I was an ass last night because I had a shit day and you graze over your annulment like it was nothing, like it would mean nothing to me. A private moment, Clarke, that's all I wanted, was that too much to ask?"

"I didn't know any of that. I—I don't know when I felt it, when it all changed for me, but all the while I was with Finn and he was good… he was… until he wasn't."

"We need to stop talking about him."

Clarke let out a breathy laugh, "I'm good with that."

"Me too."

"What are your plans today?"

"Farmers market," he answered with a grimace.

"Why do you say it like that?"

"Because what guy says that to the girl he loves?"

"Mm, the real question is why hasn't he invited her to go with him? Better yet, why hasn't he made her his yet?"

"You're not a possession."

"So _not_ the point!"

"Just come here," he growled, pulling Clarke in and kissed her sweetly.

"Call that a kiss?" she smirked, biting her lip as she pulled him back down to her and he licked into her mouth.

Spinning them around, he pressed her into the counter, his hands traveling down her sides and hips and around her ass to the back of her thighs and hoisted her onto the counter.

"Bell," she gasped as he pushed the blanket off her shoulders, licking and sucking on her throat as his thumbs dug into her hips making her squirm.

"Yes, baby?" he smirked, a huff of hot air slapping her damp throat, sending a chill down her spine.

"I need…"

"We'll get there."

"Mmm," she moaned as his tongue laved at the hollow of her throat.

She grasped his shoulders as he did wondrous things to her body that she didn't even know were possible, his hands were seemingly everywhere and she couldn't think, her mind blank aside from everything _Bellamy._ His lips, his hands, his breath, his animalistic groans and grunts from deep in his throat and his cock. His cock rubbing against her through their clothing… why were they still wearing clothes?

With that thought, Clarke began pulling Bellamy's shirt up over his head and he pulled away with a menacing smirk as she ogled his chest. "See something you like, Princess?"

Clarke scoffed, lifting her own shirt over her head. "Shut the fuck up and kiss me."

"That's all you want? Just a kiss?"

Clarke rolled her eyes at his terrible attempt at mocking her. "Preferably multiple and involving some heavy petting."

"Heavy petting?"

"Okay," she rolled her eyes. "Sex."

Bellamy chuckled and pulled away, helping her off the counter. "Bed. Now," he slapped her ass and she jumped, running out of the kitchen with Bellamy on her heels.

* * *

"I love you," Clarke breathed, rolling off him an hour later.

"Thank God, that was my best work, it will never be topped," Bellamy smiled, kissing her temple.

"Sucks to be me."

"Mm," Bellamy smiled into her shoulder. "I love you, too."

"I'm selling this place. I can't live here, I'll just keep wondering what he did while I was working."

"Make new memories with me, babe. Together."

"Together," she smiled. She's still selling the house, but she's still going to try her hardest to make better memories with Bellamy while she's here.

 **BELLAMY  
** So I'm an idiot.

 **MILLER**  
Oc u r. Glad u 2 worked ur shit  
out I never want to c it.

 **BELLAMY**  
Yeah yeah all we're going to do  
is make out to spite you.

 **MILLER**  
U better not I'll kick ur ass

 **BELLAMY**  
All the motivation I need


End file.
